


Without Lion

by stefanmusic6170



Series: Unrequited Love [1]
Category: Phandom
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 11:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6115662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefanmusic6170/pseuds/stefanmusic6170





	Without Lion

"This is it" Dan thought, as he entered the lounge, where Phil was eating lunch   
"It's now or never, I have to come out to Phil."  
*two hours earlier*  
"DAN?!" Phils voice echoed throughout the flat, waking Dan from his sleep.  
"Nnghh." Dan groaned in reply, rolling out of bed. Shuffling towards his door, he was surprised by Phil bursting in, nearly slamming the door into Dan's face.  
"Jesus, Dan! I was so worried! With all of those voicemails and..." Phils voice began to fade from Dan's head as the world began spinning. Next thing he knew, he was sprawled on the carpet, puking the contents of his stomach out.  
"Dannnn, oh my god. Cmon, get up." Phil said, looping his arm around Dan's waist, and hauling him to the bathroom. Sitting Dan down by the toilet, he said   
"I thought you had sounded a bit drunk last night, it explains the 5 voicemails I woke up to this morning."  
Dan desperately searched his memory for what he had said last night, but couldn't find a trace of what went on.   
"Are you okay?" Phil asked, obviously seeing the distressed look on Dan's face.  
"Yeah, my head hurts a bit." Dan replied, reassuring Phil.   
"Alright, will you be okay if I leave you for two minutes? I need to call PJ and tell him I'll be late to a collab we're doing." Phil asked worriedly.  
"I'll be fine, you spork." Dan quipped, shooing Phil away.   
As soon as Phil left the room, Dan shakily stood up and made his way to the medicine cabinet. Grabbing a painkiller, he drank some water from the tap, and swallowed it. Only then did the events of last night begin to flood back to him.   
'Phillllll, I have something important to tell youuuu!' Dan remembered saying after the dial tone when calling Phil.   
Trying a second time, he said 'Philly, why won't you pick up? It's soooo important!"   
The third time he had said 'Philion, I think I've found Narnia!"   
After remembering those messages, he wasn't sure he wanted to know what the rest said.   
He had been wanting to come out to Phil for a while, and that night, he had decided to do it, but to make it easier he dead gone out to a bar. Turns out that judging by the massive hangover, he had chickened out.  
Again.  
He sighed, sinking down onto the bathroom floor. If only he could tell Phil how he really felt. How he just wanted to know every part of Phil.   
But every time he even got close, back into the closet he went.   
"Dan? You still alive?" Phil asked jokingly as he opened the bathroom door. Sitting down beside Dan, he had started to speak when Dan interrupted, saying  
"I need to tell you something."  
"Look, I get that you have some big secret that you need to reveal, but I really need to get to PJ's house. I'll be back for lunch, yeah?" Phil said hurriedly   
"Yeah, works for me. See you in a bit, have fun!" Dan replied, feeling slightly disheartened.  
"I will, bye!" Phil said, exiting the bathroom, leaving Dan alone to mull over what he could have possibly said in those last two messages. 

After what felt like days, Phil finally returned from PJ's house. Dan heard the telltale click of the door, and pretended to be asleep when he heard Phil calling for him.   
"Dan? Was there something you needed to talk about?" Phils voice rang like a bell in Dan's ears. Before he could even process what to say in response, Phil had opened up his bedroom door, and saw Dan supposedly sleeping.  
"Alright, I'll talk to you later." Phil whispered, shitting the door softly. Dan squirmed in his bed, determined not to let this opportunity pass.   
He forced himself out of bed, and trudged to the lounge.   
'This is it' Dan thought, as he entered the lounge, where Phil was eating lunch   
'It's now or never, I have to come out to Phil.'  
"Phil?" Dan said warily "There's something we need to discuss."   
"Mmhmm?" Phil mumbled around a mouthful of food. Upon seeing Dan's serious expression, he swallowed, and said "What's up?"   
"Well, I haven't been completely honest about everything with you. You see, I've never really had support in my life around this kind of stuff, and I feel like I can really trust you. Phil, I'm gay," Dan rushed out, not stopping to take a breath.   
Phil just sat there with a stunned look on his face.  
"And I'm... Im in love with you." Dan finished, a tear rolling down his cheek. He wanted so desperately to be wrong, but he could swear he could see disgust in Phils eyes.   
"Are you joking right now? Dan. Please tell me you're joking." Phil said in disbelief.  
"No, Phil I'm not joking, this is who I am!" Dan said, shakily.  
"You're just confused by the fans, Dan. You just want to please them-" Phil tried  
"No." Dan cut him off "I know who I am, and who I love. Phil, please."  
"Get out."  
"Phil-"  
"GET OUT!" Phil shouted at Dan, pure rage and disgust on his face.  
Dan ran from the lounge into his bedroom, grabbing his wallet, changing his clothes and packing a quick bag. He grabbed his keys on the way out and headed over to PJ's house, barely concealing his tears from the cab driver that piled up to the curb.   
He burst into the flat, knowing it would be open, and closed the door, running into the living room. PJ was on the couch, laptop on his lap, editing the video him and Phil had just filmed.   
At the thought of Phil, Dan broke. He was a mess, sobbing and hiccuping. Poor PJ, didn't even know what was going on. He didn't ask, as he stood up and hugged Dan. Dan let himself be guided to the couch, and laid his head on PJs shoulder for a bit, until the tears had subsided. Only then did he manage to choke out   
"I'm- Im gay."   
PJ just held him tighter, saying "That doesn't change anything."  
Dan felt a bit of his strength returning, and after he had lifted his head from Pj's shoulder, he mumbled "Phil kicked me out."  
"Oh my god, Dan. Are you okay? You can stay here." PJ relied, pure worry and sadness on his face.   
"I told him that I-I love him, and he kicked me out!" Dan hiccuped, head held in his hands.   
"I'm so sorry, Dan. We'll figure this out, I promise." PJ soothed Dan, wrapping an arm around him.   
Dan spent the rest of the day moping around PJ's flat while PJ went over to Dam and Phils place to get some more of Dan's stuff. He returned in the evening with a change of clothes, and some groceries.  
"I figured you could use some sweets to cheer you up." PJ declared, setting all the bags in front of Dan. Turning on his TV, they ate in silence, each caught up in their thoughts.   
After they had finished off a full two bags of crisps, PJ announced   
"I'm going to bed, I've left some bedding supplies on the counter. Make yourself at home."  
And with that, he left Dan to his own devices.   
Dan grabbed the fluffy blanket and pillows, curling up on the couch. He flipped to a channel playing "My Neighbour Totoro" and drifted off to sleep.  
The next morning he awoke to his phone ringing. Phils name was on display, and warily grabbing it, he pressed answer.   
"Look, Dan. You have 10 days to move out. I can't live with you anymore." Phils voice rang out. Dan inhaled to reply, but only got a dial tone.  
Phil had hung up on him. He was officially gone. Phil had given up, and nothing could save their friendship now.  
"If only I had kept my mouth shut." Dan though, as he curled up under the blanket and began crying again.   
He couldn't live without his Lion.


End file.
